A week or so ago I woke up to several voice mails, text messages, and emails from loved friends and loved ones wondering how I ended up in the UK, and why they should send me money. Somebody had gotten a hold of my password and was using my personal information against me to try and make a quick buck. As if facebook wasn’t annoying enough, now it’s literally fucking with my life. My poor friend Meghan was on her way to Western Union to send me money from Malaysia, the perps had instant messaged her that my wife Kate was in the hospital. What the flying fuck?! I immediately logged on and posted a message on my wall: I am safe and sound in Oregon, don’t send me money!! Later that day the facebook team shut down my account because I violated the terms of use. I violated? The level that these fuckers will stoop to is so low, they have given new meaning to the word “scumbag.“ I swear I must have a sign on my internet forehead that says: Hey everybody, exploit me!! Luckily Meghan thought better of it at the last minute and emailed me directly to find out what was up. Thankfully ALL of my friends were smart enough to avoid sending me money before talking with me, but the whole situation made me feel dirty. It really made me think about why I need this silly service in my life, if the pros actually outweigh the cons. Sure, I’ve “met up” with some people I haven’t seen in some years, I’ve enjoyed some of the shared videos and pictures. I finally figured out how to shut off the email alerts for everything, so I’m not immediately notified when John from eighth grade social studies “achieves” in Mafia Wars. As if I fucking care about your rabbit in Farmville. Get a life “friends.” If they ever unlock my account the first thing I’m going to do is log on and delete a bunch of “friends.” If I haven’t talked to you or received a personal email from you in the past ten years, or ever; sayonara. I just don’t care that much. I don’t need a website to validate me as popular or friendly, faithful readers know I’m neither. This has all been so bitchy and depressing. I will attempt to cheer the internet up now with this video I took of a man in a carriage being pulled by a shetland pony. Enjoy!
“I just had to… take another… look at your set up there.” F@#king priceless.
@Eric- This is definitely the best random moment I have ever personally captured on a phone. Some people get fistfights on a bus, I get rickshaw ponies.
I hate facebook, too. I don’t want to know about anyone’s boringass fish,farms, or mafia. Unfortunately, if I don’t post there often, I get emails via facebook from family and friends wondering where I am. I can’t believe they locked you out! mofos.
@Scott- so they re-opened my account, I just don’t care to use it anymore
Hi Jeff,
How are things in the Great Pacific Northwest?
Thought about you recently and figured this would be the best way to get ahold of you.
All’s well down here in San Diego (can’t remember if I told you that I relocated here last year as pastry chef at USD).
Anyway, shoot me an e-mail when you get a moment at tonyandwalt@aol.com
Take care,
Tony