Technology these days has afforded me the luxury of enjoying myself in ways that I never imagined as a kid. Gone are the days of swinging sticks or throwing apples at my siblings. Gone even the days of listening to music or watching television like I used to, or even going outside at all. I get all the entertainment I need from a little 13 inch screen that opens into a vast world of endless data. When I’m away from Lappy, I can still gaze into the infinite, via a tiny, hand held computer, myPhone. The union of these two devices, the symbiosis, has given rise to a new genre of boredom killing pastime, the text message rap battle. Through myPhone’s screen shot feature and the boundless possibilites of Photoshop, mrjeffmccarthy.com brings you the not quite first ever text message rap battle. Think you got flow faithful reader? Drop a rhyme in the comments and start it up, pup…put down ya coffee cup an’ see wassup.
WOW! everytime… this battle cracks me up dude! Talk about a day in the life between pasrty chef and sous chef!!! HAHAHA o yea, Not it on shaving truffles. Nice job on the photoshop pictures where were we when you took those?
You two dudes keep chewin ya food while I type the shit that gets girlies nude!
Dam I hate you meeces to pieces your nieces kneel down on the ground when they hear my sound.
@ Perezident- The pic of you was from Cinco de Mayo. I cropped it from a photo of you and Brain (B-Wize?)
@B-Wise- Yeah I chew the food, an’ spit it on yer tude, dude…and your sound? y’mean the one comin’ from down where the brown’s found? I plug my ears for fear o’ droppin’ tears from the odor Bro-der.
@ B-wize-Yo B-wize you better be wise before I get the urge to tear you up into pieces Ill have you looking like some busted breezies broke homeless with no steez
Yo-Check these wordz that i’m droppin’ on you turdz,
Breakin’ lyrics across ya teeth worse that your ass reek,
two fingers to your face quicker that taquilla to chase,
your iphones can suck my dick while I tuck your pricks in the dirt.
@ two fingers- 2 fingers? In that ass maybe, might save me from this shit storm comin’ out yer hole…lacking soul with your rhyme should be a crime for a slime wasting time.
@ tony2fingers- P.S. ” these wordz that i’m droppin’ on you turdz,” nice!
it’s funny how many of these rhymes are about penis or feces. Shit’s dirty like Johne Cleese’s.
too many balls and not enough mics! time for a fresh chick to stick it to the dick lickers up in this bitch. while you’re smellin’ each others’ asses and tryin’ to pass your wack rhymes by the masses, the lady in the house stays classy while she tears up these players, dudes gettin’ gayer and gayer while she drops layer after layer of incendiary verses on these unsuspecting fools nursing their wounds cursing the heavens like goons. too soon for these young ones, eat this up like dim sum!
@ sippy cup- Well let me retort to this rap report by saying: Damn Girl!! You rhyme like a rabid squirrel! yeah you droppin’ layer after layer, of prayer that this lyric slayer will leave his table scraps, wash it down with a pabst then spit it out..cause you lack to clout to even know what this about!!
PS-thanks for taking time to drop a rhyme in the comments line
@ sippy cup- Yo, I need a second to wreck it, swing for the bleachers, You must be an uninformed fool, so i’ll act your teacher, your ‘classy’ sounds nasty, your rhymin’ preverse,
you need to step back from the mic or step into the herse,
I got no love for girls who got no respect in the world,
so get good or get out, learn how to carve a rhyme,
or i’ll put you to work, pull out that Prime rib, and remove the chine.
this is fun
just like my retarded homosexual midget stepson
Dammmmnnnnn!!!! This shits getting heated hahaha!!
fuck this shit, you little crack bitches! I be painting walls with the scum from my roomies dirty-ass three week old dishes. You dirty little hoes think you can suck my ding-a-ling, well fuck that shit trick, you ain’t suck this little thing-a-ling. Look at me now bitch, cuz I rappin’ with the best of ‘em. Nah just playin’, you fuckin’ with the best kid.
@ thug passion - kid, you outta fashion, bashin’ shit you don’t understand, boy you a stranger in this land so let me school you: the worlds fooled you into thinking you got flow, you just an everyday joe with an everyday rhyme-should have to pay a fine for droppin’ such lines
Fuck Mt Holycross, I’ll be breakin all yo jaws, takin off yo girlies bras and lik them nips like hagen daz. You’ll look dum like santa claus when I fuck up yo meez en plaz!
@ B-wize- HA HA HA! I think you won son, the number one rhyme ‘neath the sun…or this website anyway, another day another dollar holler
I knew youd like that meez en plaz shit that I spit nig…
@ B-wize- damn homie you just threw that shit on the grill nig!!!
I can’t believe I’m marrying B-Wize.
@ LadyConcierge- You best believe LadyC, he’s a better rhymer than you an’ me, which is what’s our beef, not spittin’ disbelief.
Mass transit people lookin pissed, like they been dissed at every turn, learn-to avoid the burn, those thousand mile stares are now yours, whores